


the rain left you behind

by ztazziia



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: 2019 Formula 1 Season, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Car Accidents, Character Death, Daniel does leave in this, Daniel is so in love, Death is not detailed, Emotional Hurt, Fast Cars, Formula One, Friendship/Love, Hurt No Comfort, Idiots in Love, Jos Is Mentioned But Not By Name, M/M, Max is stubborn, Racing, Rain, Romantic Angst, Romantic Friendship, Tragedy, We'll just call it that, i have a thing for my characters leaving each other, they're together but not really together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25996837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ztazziia/pseuds/ztazziia
Summary: maxemillian verstappen was the reason why london put barriers on their underground.yet, maxemillian verstappen is the reason why they got torn down.or, max and daniel have been in love with each other for three years but it all comes to a halt because max is stubborn and doesn't want to give up.
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	the rain left you behind

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know how to feel about this.  
> part of me hates this and the other part of me doesn't mind it.  
> anyways, i'm back writing angst again (although this isn't really angst).  
> enjoy! :)
> 
> (also i’m aware my dates and all that don’t line up but let’s just pretend)

It should have never happened.

Why didn't they stop it?

Max could've given up and retired.

But he didn't.

* * *

Max Verstappen never shied away from a challenge. He had learnt from his Dad that when the conditions were the most challenging you had the best chance to overthrow the dominating team and driver. They would struggle with the pressure that was placed upon their shoulders and make a mistake. Oversteer and Overcorrect. Understeer and spin. Aquaplane and hurl into the barriers. Max learnt from a young age that he had to perfect his skills in the wet because he had the best chance to win when the heavens opened and let it rain down on the Grand Prix circuit he was racing at. He would cross the line first, jump out of his car and walk up to the podium feeling victorious. Everything would feel so right. After all, Max Verstappen was born a champion and champions always chase that winning feeling.

Daniel Ricciardo was different, however. Born in sunny Perth the Australian never really faced much rain until he found himself racing in Europe. It wasn't a secret that he struggled in the wet. Daniel's first race in the rain was the first time he had ever felt scared in a single-seater racing car. He can remember it so vividly, the precautions he took to make sure that he wouldn't spin out, his team at the time telling him to get a move on and the several cars that passed him throughout the race as he was just so slow. Even now almost fifteen years on he still wasn't fond of racing in the rain. His mind always working overtime thinking about the dangers that awaited him as his car skated around the wet track. Formula One isn't a hundred per cent safe and Daniel just didn't want to be the driver that got caught out.

*******

Max and Daniel should've never got along as well as they did. The younger of the two was a hotheaded Dutchie who was straightforward, blunt and said it how it was. The elder was a carefree Aussie who always sported a smile and knew how to consider others feelings. On paper, Max should've hated Daniel. He beat around the bush as to not upset others and it seemed like he never took anything seriously. However, when the two first met in 2016 he knew something was going to be different about the pair's relationship. The Dutchman should've been resented by Daniel but instead, he was captivated by him. He knew that Max troubled others with no regards and didn't have an ounce of shame with venting his frustrations about what the team was doing wrong. But somehow Daniel knew that he had to be more like Max and vice versa. Max needed a happy-go-lucky side. Daniel needed an impulsive headstrong side. 

The three years that they spent together changed everything and everyone involved. As time went on Max seemed to embrace his funny side more and Daniel seemed to have ditched his indecisiveness and started on his journey of determination. Their fondness of each other grew massively and suddenly Max found himself relying on a smiley Australian driver. The younger wasn't quite sure of when he began to grow feelings for the other but he knew that it happened fast. He remembers turning up to a race weekend one day and finding himself picking up on the littlest things. How Daniel's hand was brushing past his as they sat at the conference table for the debrief. Daniel's expectant face while waiting on Max's reaction to a story he was telling. The comments from the elder on his Instagram posts. Not to mention their text messages which were filled with flirty messages and innuendos. But as years past the Dutchman learned that was growing to become scared. He was scared because Formula One is never straightforward. One day, Daniel would decide to leave Red Bull and the two's partnership would end. Max wanted to avoid that all costs. But, Max Verstappen never quite learned how to be in control of multiple things at once. 

And end it did. The dreaded, "I'm leaving." call came. Max didn't know how to react. It was so stupid. Daniel was running away from a challenge. Red Bull was the perfect place for him to be, he was constantly upgrading his racecraft as he was getting pushed to the limits by Max. The team also had a race-winning car that would eventually turn into a championship-winning car which is inevitably what the Australian wanted. It was more than safe to say that Max didn't believe the "Red Bull just isn't the place for me to be anymore. I am meant to be at Renault." speech that Daniel was giving the media and to the Dutchie himself. The younger knew that it was all just a lie, the other was doing his usual. Running away when times got hard and things weren't simple and easy anymore. Above all this situation was just oh so familiar. Daniel was the only driver that Max knew who hated when the wet conditions and berated the officials for not giving the red flag when it got "too" wet. The elder was just doing what he had always done, giving up.

*******

Austria was when the reality sunk in for the younger. His former teammate truly was in a different team and there was no sign of him coming back anytime soon. Flashes of yellow were apparent in Max's mirrors and then the quick appearance of a black number three which interrupted the vivid and bright paint that covered the Renault car. Daniel. Had Max dropped that far down the grid due to his horrific start? Surely the Dutchman wasn't that far away from the lead? He watched his mirrors as the vibrant car edged closer and closer to him and before he knew it the two former teammates were battling it out at turn three. There was nothing the Dutchie could do as he watched the other slide past him and take the position that was once his. It seemed that he was fitting in just fine with the French team. It also seemed that Daniel had finally found some confidence.

From there on whenever Max saw a flurry of yellow he felt sick. The colour reminding him of how Daniel had left him and the team behind. How Daniel signed a contract and didn't think about the effects it would have on everything and anything. The effect it had on the two's relationship. Yes, the pair weren't exactly together. There was no proposal of "Will you be my boyfriend?" but they both knew that they were together and exclusive. The two had silently agreed to commit to each other. But a simple stroke of a pen that left a mark on a page changed that. A mark that was none other than Daniel Ricciardo's signature changed everything. Their relationship shifted from a silent agreement of exclusiveness to back to how it was when the two initially met. Flashes of yellow followed Max everywhere, haunting his presence. Daniel Ricciardo had ruined the colour yellow for Max.

*******

After qualifying in Germany last year drew to a close Max found himself sitting in a debrief room discussing what was right and what was wrong with the navy car. Max found the meeting extremely lonely and unfamiliar because Daniel should be sitting next to him, telling him a stupid joke that didn't make any sense. Yet he was in another team, joking with other people and ultimately he wasn't with Max. Of course, Max had Alex who he knew relatively well but he did not compare to the Australian who used to take up Alex's new seat in the debrief room. As much as the twenty-one year wanted to hate Daniel he still found himself yearning and pining for the thick Aussie accented bloke. He wished that the elder would burst into the garage laughing and saying it was all just a big joke. He wanted the Aussie to claim that he just wanted to see the younger's reaction to him leaving. But it was all too real to be a joke, the only joke that was present was the still evident feelings that Max had. They always say that distance is meant to make the heart grow founder and Maxemillian was the perfect example of that common saying.

As Max walked out of the paddock that Saturday he only caught a glimpse of the head full of moppy curls that was striding towards him before the fateful Australian man stood in front of him. Daniel stopped only metres apart from Max. The younger of the two felt the nerves in his stomach tangle up as they spread feelings of unreadiness throughout his body. To say that at the time he was not ready to have a conversation with his old teammate would be an understatement. Maybe that was the reason why the two hadn't spoken since Abu Dhabi the previous year. Max was still bitter and in shock and Daniel was confused as to why the other hadn't reached out to him since. They both missed each other, Max felt guilty of not replying to Daniel's texts but he had nothing that he could muster up and send back. The whole of the season the Dutchman was just not prepared or ready to try and reach out. Soon enough Max's actions caught up to him.

"Hey, Maxy", Daniel seemed out of breath and visibly sweating when he caught up to Max but the younger didn't think much of it as he was way too curious about the reason why the elder had approached him. "Have you heard the news?"

He shook his head at Daniel. Max was never up to date with the drama in the paddock but in the earlier years, a certain Aussie was always there to get him up to speed.

"You know that I don't keep up to date with all the drama. What's happened now?"

Max could only think of what had happened. Perhaps a driver had broken up with their girlfriend or it had become clear that two drivers weren't necessarily too fond of each other. The rumours that filled the paddock were never too particularly shocking but they were always entertaining to listen to. However, when Daniel stopped in his tracks and looked Max straight in the eye, the young driver knew that it was not about some shoddy rumour that had been started by the media.

"You seriously haven't heard?! Wow, you have changed Max. You used to check the weather forecast every day on race weekend." Daniel exclaimed before his face lit up after realising that the man in front of him had finally caught on to what was happening.

"It's a wet race?! We haven't raced in the rain for so long!" 

*******

Daniel can't recall much from that day. In fact, Daniel can't remember much from the weekend. Everything happened so fast. Practice sessions, qualifying, meetings, interviews, debriefs, conversations. They all came and went faster than the car that he found himself driving each weekend. But one thing will always stick in the Australian man's head, the look on Max Verstappen's face when he found out it was going to be a wet race. The elder learnt little quirks about Max when he spent time with him at Red Bull. Like how the Dutchie would always tap the side of the car before clambering in it. Or how Max would always like to talk first in the debrief so he wouldn't forget what the car felt like. Perhaps even how Max would always wear a cap even though he sported beautiful blonde locks that framed his face perfectly. But the biggest thing that Daniel learned about the other was that Max Verstappen had an obsession with the rain.

The rain suits Max. The clash of water as it hits the tarmac sums up what the young driver was like to be around. The tarmac has to brace itself for the brutal impact of the raindrops just like Daniel had to brace himself before he allowed his personality to collide with the others. He had to steady himself before establishing any form of a relationship with Max as he knew that if he simply submitted the other would easily slide in and consume Daniel. The Dutchman would leave him with nothing but love and longing for the other after the raid. The elder wasn't ready or in any way comfortable with that happening. But, who was Daniel kidding? Max Verstappen was always going to leave him shaken and thrilled by his love. It was only a matter of time. 

*******

The Australian remembers a lot about the time he and the Dutchie spent together. Monaco 2018, a disappointing race for Max but a win for Daniel. Their night was spent downing drinks in a random Monte-Carlo bar. One hoping he could cheer the other up. The other hoping he could help the elder celebrate. But that never happened as they sat ordering shitty drinks one after another, their mood simply stilled. Max not feeling any better and Daniel feeling like he hadn't even won the race. They stumbled back to their apartment complex that night. The younger of the pair had a terrible tolerance and the other had drunk way too much trying to cheer himself up and pretend that he wasn't spending his night wasting away. Daniel unlocked the door to his apartment all the while explaining to Max that he could just stay here tonight as they were both way too drunk, the other delivered his question in the most serious tone.

*******

"Do you want to spend summer break together?"

*******

So, they did. The pair vacationed in Ibiza. A place where one was seasoned in experiences but the elder lacked any prior visitor knowledge. Daniel fell in love with Max then. They hired a boat and sailed to anywhere and everywhere they could go on the island. As Max explained to the elder how he had managed to somehow scramble up a boating licence, Daniel found himself zoning out. He took in the feeling of the sun and the way it set his honey skin on fire. The same feeling a certain Formula One driver gave him as he complimented Daniel on a good race. He watched as Max turned the steering of the boat and watched the way his fingers lightly stroked the hard, worn leather that adorned the wheel. Daniel loved the feeling of the slightly calloused fingers that pushed the Aussie's curls out of his face when they got to that certain annoying length. His eyes flickered to the others. The pretty blue tones hidden by the pair of designer sunglasses the younger had chose to wear. Daniel reminded himself of the way the other's eyes would light up when he told him a joke or a funny story. Visions of Max laughing way too hard at an immature joke told by the elder grounded Daniel. He was here on this earth and he was in love.

*******

Daniel Ricciardo left Red Bull Racing because he grew impatient. He had been promised so much before a specific driver was introduced to the team. Assurances of how they would give the Aussie a championship-winning car soon and how he was still their number one driver could only go so far. The driver watched as the guarantees of a driver's championship got shifted to Max. It was all of a sudden, Daniel remembers seeing the younger in talks with Christain while the Aussie was in the factory using the simulator. He knew that Max was seeking out an extension of his contract, probably trying to imply that he wanted to be the number one driver next year. Daniel didn't mind and he didn't blame the other. Hell, he would do the same if he was half as talented as Max was at his young age. Before he knew it, he was calling up his manager and asking him what teams would have a free seat at the end of the year. Wanting to escape Red Bull's dog eat dog atmosphere within the team but not wanting to leave behind the glory that he sought out for himself. Furthermore, Daniel didn't want to leave behind Max Verstappen.

When the contract at Renault was signed and as Cyril smiled, because he knew he had a bagged a driver who could take them up the ranks, Daniel decided that he wasn't leaving Max behind. In fact, it was the other way about. Max was in a league of his own and Daniel knew that he would struggle to keep up if he stayed with Red Bull any longer. The Australian didn't call it giving up at the time but as months passed he saw why it was viewed that way. But, no one other than himself knew his full reasons. Sure, he left Red Bull in seek of a more chilled but still competitive atmosphere but he left in the protection of his and Max's friendship? Relationship? Whatever the fuck they had. The more time the two spent at the same team the more tensions would grow. Daniel wouldn't be able to live with himself if someone he held so dearly stopped talking to him forever because he messed up that badly during a race. He could only compare the feelings to those he got during a wet race. Pressure. Anticipation. Uncomfortableness. Though still, Daniel wouldn't call it giving up.

He put off the conversation for weeks. He was less anxious telling Christain and Helmut about his controversial move. Understandably, he could see that the pair weren't best pleased but Daniel could live with that. To him, Christain and Helmut were his bosses and though they may crack a few jokes the relationship never surpassed that of a worker and his two bosses. Max was a different ball game, however. He would more than likely get angry at the other, maybe he would even say accusing words that he didn't mean. Daniel could live with that. But, Max may never view him the same after the revelation. A traitor. Perhaps, Max would call him that. Daniel could live with that. However, Max might not talk to him ever again ultimately calling it quits on whatever the pair were doing. Shutting him out. Never waking up at midnight and giving him a call to explain the horrible nightmares of his father that he had ever again. Never sneaking into his room after a race so the two could spend time alone ever again. Never telling him how beautiful he was ever again. Never being analysed by such captivating and deep blue eyes before the two kiss ever again. Daniel couldn't live with that.

Max shut him out. It was so unexpected yet expected. He was angry at Daniel. He was wasting such a big opportunity by choosing Renault over Red Bull. He was running from a challenge. He was giving up. He was shutting the door on the two's half friendship half relationship. Daniel didn't know what to do. Everything was over so quickly. Max was lucky he was young. The elder remembers being his age, feeling as if the world was always wronging you. No one else was going through hardships just yourself. Being that age you feel as if you can just end things with no consequences. But, there always will be consequences and there will always be other people's feelings. Yet, Daniel let him get away with it. He was young. And they were never anything too serious. Or were they? It's fine though. Daniel will live. Hopefully. It doesn't stop him from shooting Max a quick halfhearted 'I'm sorry' text though. Hoping to reduce some of the damage that was already done.

*******

There was always something so sentimental about Abu Dhabi to Daniel. It was the time to leave things in the past and look into the future. But, Daniel could never leave Max in the past. He belonged in the future with him. He was sure of it. Of course, Max didn't think the same or at least it came across that way. The two only ever talking to each other for PR and media events. Casually joking in Red Bull videos in an attempt to conceal what was actually going on behind closed doors. Daniel didn't mind. They had to be professional. They even did a good job pretending that everything was normal to the team, the pair always agreeing in the debrief and acting like their old selves. And even though the multitude of messages that the elder sent the younger were left unopened and unanswered, Daniel didn't mind. He won't miss the pair dreaming up fantasies of the future together. He won't miss the feeling of joy that spread through his body as Max embraced him to congratulate him on his good finish. He won't miss the sweet little whispers before surrendering to sleep. He won't miss Max Verstappen's presence. He'll be fine. Daniel just made sure that he didn't mind.

*******

Daniel sent Max a congratulations message after Austria. He got no reply which he was expecting. He knew that the Dutchman would win. He looked different that day in the paddock before the race. A sense of fierceness that Daniel thought he had left behind in 2017 followed the other. That's why the elder knew that his overtake on the other would not last very long, Max would probably be right behind by the next lap fighting for his position back. And, exactly that happened. The Aussie was glad Max won the race, he would always be happy for the other when he got a podium finish. The feeling of the younger's win completely masked the disappointment of Daniel's outside of the points finish. During the debrief he just placed himself onto the podium with the Dutchie celebrating the blistering race the other had. He zoned out while daydreaming and thinking back to only the year before. His tranquil state abruptly interrupted by his team principal attempting to get him to focus. And at that, Daniel once again tried to shove Max to the back of his mind. 

*******

The Renault driver wasn't having a good weekend in Hockenheim. He definitely wasn't thinking about the adventures he and Max went on the night before the race in 2017. He definitely wasn't missing Max. Nope, Daniel was fine. He was just tired and slightly off his game. He would be fine by the time it was qualifying. But, as he qualified twelfth and was berated in the debrief room for letting Max past which in result screwed up his own lap time, he knew he needed a miracle to be focused during the race the following day. He scrambled out of the meeting room and he collected his thoughts. He tried desperately to rid a certain Maxemillian Verstappen from his mind but it was no use as Max qualified second and looked to have some blistering pace. Daniel would give anything to get back in the royal navy car. But more importantly, Daniel would give anything and everything to have a normal conversation with Max again.

He felt inclined to tell Max that they would be racing in the rain on Sunday. Even though he assumed that the other was probably checking the forecast all weekend in hopes of just a little bit of rain. Nonetheless, it didn't stop Daniel from seeking out the Red bull driver. Everyone in the paddock knew that the Dutchman did the least amount of media interviews as he was never a fan of answering questions that were set up for you to reveal a certain secret or confirm a certain rumour that was floating about the paddock. Because of this Max was usually one of the first people to leave the circuit so the elder knew he had to be fast in hope to catch up to him. Daniel knew exactly why he wanted to tell the other. He wanted to see Max's face light up with joy and excitement once again. He wanted to see the younger's eyes dilate as he got that worked up and exhilarated at thought of driving and racing in the wet. All in all, Daniel Ricciardo just really wanted to see Max Verstappen. 

*******

Daniel can remember another thing about that day. He can remember crashing out on the second lap and into the barriers. He already knew that he would have to retire the car by the time the point of impact happened. The car was a riot. As was Daniel. He never crashed. Even when he did, he never had crashes that were that big. It was a reflection of how messed up his thoughts were. With his brain scattered everywhere, it was no surprise to him that he had collided with the barriers. He can remember the flash of royal navy from car number thirty-three as it flew past him, the marshals not allowing him to watch it drive into the horizon. Daniel can't remember much after that. He must've gone to the medical room who probably deemed him all okay. He also more than likely apologised to Cyril, probably throwing in an excuse about the tires or the car. No doubt he was offered a seat in the garage to watch the remainder of the race which he accepted, keen to see how Maxemillian would get on.

*******

A slight snap of oversteer was all that was needed.

*******

It's funny, isn't it? Perhaps, funny is the wrong word to use. Cruel, cruel suits it a lot better. Drivers spend their whole life dedicated to Formula One. They live messed up childhoods. Go months without seeing their family. Abandon relationships. Move halfway across the world. All in hopes of the delightful feeling of glory and power. Daniel knew that Max would stop at nothing in the pursuit of those familiar feelings. Max was ruthless in Daniel's eyes. It was dangerous. Max was an addict to glory. To victory. To the feeling of success. The other warned him of how much danger it could do. Daniel didn't think Max was out of control. He wanted to believe that the younger knew what he was doing. He wanted to believe that the other was aware of the dangers. Max told Daniel that he knew when to stop. When to pull the car into the garage and try another day. But, it was all lie.

*******

By lap seven in Germany, you could tell that the conditions were treacherous. Most drivers calling for a red flag signalling they wanted the race to end. The flag never came though, the FIA deeming the conditions still safe to race in. Teams radioed to their drivers, giving them the choice of pulling out of the race or continuing. Almost half of the grid pulled into the pits next lap. Choosing to retire their car in the pursuit of safety. In Daniel's eyes, they were making the right decision. In Max's eyes, they were giving up. Car thirty-three stayed out. Max knew he could win. If he won he would close the gap to Lewis. He would be very close to taking the lead in the championship. Max Verstappen couldn't turn down that opportunity. He thrives in these conditions. He chases the win in these conditions. He never backs down in these conditions. Of course, Daniel Ricciardo cursed him for it.

Everything felt normal for Max. His left foot on the brake, his right on the throttle. His teams radioed him with messages telling him not to push too much and to be safe. But, the messages fell on deaf ears. He downshifted as he entered turn one, everything still felt normal. He completed lap twenty and GP give him a notice of how many were left, everything still felt normal. He passed the bright red of a Ferrari on the end straight, everything still felt normal. He was in second, hunting Lewis down. Max was cutting the leader's lead down by seconds each lap. The wet not affecting the Dutchman in any way. He wasn't worried when the rain got heavier, he was used to this. Max Verstappen was born a champion. A champion always chases the win. Thoughts of triumph ran through his head as he approached turn one. Suddenly, nothing felt normal.

*******

A snap of oversteer. An overcorrection. A slide into the Ferrari's way. A barrel roll into the barriers.

*******

Daniel watched in horror. Max didn't get out of the car. Daniel couldn't find a way to tear his eyes off of the screen. Max didn't get out of the car. Tears roll down Daniel's face his face riddled with shock. Max Verstappen wasn't going to get out of that navy painted car. Daniel could feel a huge part of him dying. Max. Max was gone. He was gone because he couldn't say no. Because he was defiant in going for the win. Ultimately, Max was gone because he didn't want to give up. 

Daniel felt a wave of nostalgia crash over him. He shut his eyes as he allowed waves of memories to swallow him. He will never forget all of the younger's quirks. His obsession with number three. How he would tap Daniel's helmet before the race claiming that it brought him luck when he was younger. The feeling of Max's lips on the side of his face. And then Max declaring the best way to wake up is with a kiss. Daniel wouldn't forget the late-night conversations the duo had. The dutchman's confession of the abuse he had gone through because of his dad. How the other always thought he would never be good enough so he always strives to win, no matter what. Nor, would he forget their nights partying. Max drunk confessing and professing how much he liked Daniel after their podium in Suzuka. The younger's face when he got up to speed with the words he spilt out when he was drunk. Before telling the elder that he meant everything. Daniel won't forget how infatuated he became with Max. Most importantly, Daniel Ricciardo won't forget how dangerously he fell in love with Max Verstappen.

*******

Maxemillian Verstappen was the reason why London put barriers on it's underground.

Yet, Maxemillian Verstappen was the reason why they got torn down.


End file.
